Uncovering Your Child’s Passion

March 4th, 2010

dh-ygtl-logo-4

After weeks of being glued to the nightly television broadcasts of the Olympics, celebrating the wins of my favorites and critiquing the losses of others, the one thing that stood out among all the participants was the amazing passion and confidence they all displayed.

The importance of a passionate and confident mindset brought to mind another insight that serves as a valuable lesson for parents to pay attention to.

We all have our personal heroes in all walks of life. Children especially, find someone they admire and look up to …only to dream of becoming just like them.

So how do parents react to this admiration for others in their children? For the most part, they see it as a part of the current society, a fad, and support it by purchasing the latest paraphernalia being sold with the star’s image on it… posters, t-shirts, book covers, and a wide variety of clothing.(I still have my official membership card to the “Star Wars” fan club!)

Parents can simply look at this adulation as a passing phase in their child’s life (as in my case with Star Wars) to support, encourage, and sometimes even participate in or in addition to this they can look a bit closer and pay attention to the level of interest their child has in this person, sport, or profession.

Closer examination may provide signs that this is not just a fleeting phase but the seeds of your child’s passion. If there are signs of something deeper, this changes the atmosphere and attitude that should be directed toward their child’s interest.

Seldom do we hear of highly successful people, like those competing in the Olympics, say they just recently discovered an affinity for a particular sport or profession and then find themselves at the top of their game celebrating huge success. Most often these top achievers say that their passion began in their younger years.

Can’t we all look back and say, “I wanted to be a dancer.”, or “I have always been fascinated by marine life”, or …you can fill in the blank…

Some, sadly, let these feelings and ideas go and replace them with what they feel they “need” to do because of outside responsibilities. Others let them go because of a lack of encouragement and support from those closest to them.

One of the most important jobs of a parent is to inspire and encourage those things their children seem to be naturally attracted to in order to help them discover their passion.

Uncovering, pursuing, and being able to live your passion is at the root of complete and total fulfillment in life.

The law of attraction states that what we feel and think and believe becomes our reality. The common denominator for those that reach such amazing levels of success is the fact that they love what they do, believe they can do what they love, and have the courage, confidence and opportunity to put it all into action.

It was evident that the “stars” of the Olympics all share and display the same common attitudes and positive mindsets…they are living their joy. They have found the secret to manifesting their desires…believing in themselves and loving what they are involved in.

Pay attention to what your children show interest in. Be careful not to dismiss anything. You never know what may lead to becoming the joy of their lives.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Parent's Job in Child's Life, Parent's Responsibility, Parent's Role, children's future | No Comments »

Red Flag Warning for Parents!

February 15th, 2010

dh-ygtl-logo-41

Dr. Joe Vitale, star of the movie “The Secret”, marketing guru, and internationally known best selling author, recently solicited the opinions of his readers to find out what they would like him to write more about. The top answer of course was that people want to know more about attracting money. Frankly, I don’t think this is a surprise to anyone.

What really grabbed my attention however was what came in second. With all that Dr. Vitale, as well as many other experts, have written and created programs about on the subject of the law of attraction, people requested more information about clearing techniques to remove “limiting beliefs”.

During the past several years much has been written to educate people about limiting beliefs. As a result, we know that these are beliefs learned during childhood that become programmed into our subconscious mind and eventually become our reality. They surface in adulthood as blocks to attracting our desires.

Based on the findings of Dr. Vitale’s survey, the undeniable fact is that people are continuing to struggle to attract what they want. Having been a student and practitioner of the principles of the law of attraction for many years, as well as devoting my career to helping parents teach their children these principles, I am extremely familiar with the many methods and techniques offered by countless experts. I can personally attest to the fact that most of these methods are extremely clear, concise and easy to use.

The question then becomes, “Why are so many people still struggling?”

Since I received the email from Dr. Vitale announcing the outcome of his online survey, I have thought about little else.

Sadly, I don’t have the answer for the many adults who are struggling to clear and remove the blocks to be able to attract what they desire. However, I do believe the result of this survey serves as a “big time” wake up call for the parents of today’s generation.

This red flag warning makes it clear that what we are exposed to, learn, and experience during our childhood has a huge impact on our overall success and happiness in adulthood.

In light of this, parents have a responsibility to examine their parenting methods. It is crucial for today’s parents to approach parenting much differently than the way our generation was parented.

Gone are the days when providing the basic needs for our children is our only concern. This information enlightens us to the devastating effects our children will endure if we do not pay as much attention to their emotional well being as we do their physical health.

As a rule, people resist change. However, as ever-evolving human beings we are called to continuously grow and improve. Times change and the majority strives to change along with the times regardless of how uncomfortable it is.

The market is constantly responding to the demand for information concerning the law of attraction. This law is not new; it is a universal law just as the law of gravity. Our generation has uncovered its power in our lives and is feverishly attempting to learn how to work in concert with its principles to create the life we desire.

The underlying message from the results of this survey is that while parents are learning about the power of the law of attraction to apply to their lives, there is also a critical need to share this knowledge with their children.

The findings in Dr. Vitale’s survey clearly drive home the importance for parents to diligently monitor what our children learn and absorb during their formative years.

Our approach to parenting needs to reflect this new information that our generation has uncovered and progress to a level that will serve the next generation to its fullest.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Law of Attraction Parenting Method, Parenting, Parenting using the Law of Attraction, Removing Limiting Beliefs, children's future, law of attraction, limiting beliefs | No Comments »

Raising Kids…Relate vs. Dictate

February 3rd, 2010

dh-ygtl-logo-4

If you want to alienate your kids, create an atmosphere that says “I am the boss and you will obey!” On the other hand, if you want a relationship with your kids, create an atmosphere that says “I am here to help you!” Communicating with your child is what will determine the type of relationship you will share. On going communication is what will allow the relationship to deepen and strengthen.

Parents are often so busy they forget the need to consciously cultivate a relationship with their children. It is certainly not a lack of desire; they are generally placing most of their time and energy into providing for their children. At the end of the day, parents are grateful that they have been able to provide the necessities in life and devote even a small amount of time to just being with their children.

However, we must not sell our children short. They are much smarter than we give them credit for. They know and they see how busy life is for their parents. What they need is to know that they are the most important part of those busy days and nights. In this area, quality outweighs quantity. When you only have a short time to spend with your kids, talk with them, not at them. Talk about what interests them rather than interrogating them.

While driving them to school, running errands, or at the dinner table, ask them what they are thinking about. Share your thoughts about what is happening in your life and ask their opinion. In other words, include them in a meaningful exchange of thoughts…even for only a few minutes.

Sadly, the type of relationship parents have with their children is not examined until a problem surfaces.

Regardless of the age of your children, it is critical to immediately begin creating a relationship built on communication rather than to wait until there is a problem.

So often, we hear parents of teenagers say they have no idea what is going on with their child. They complain that they don’t understand them and most definitely are not in agreement with many of the choices they see them making. It is devastating when a teenager makes a choice that has life-changing consequences, such as drugs, pregnancy or even suicide…too often it takes something drastic to prompt parents to examine the level of communication they have with their children.

The responsibility of teaching children to communicate lies with the parent.

Parents need to consciously “steer” their relationship toward a bonding that includes a mutual respect and sharing of thoughts and ideas and opinions.

The single most important thing to remember is to listen. Do not feel that you must have all the answers…it is more important for your children to know they can say anything and talk about anything without being judged or punished. Relate to what they are thinking and saying through listening and sharing.

The second thing to remember is that it is not your job to simply dictate commands for your children to obey. Nothing will break down a relationship quicker than a child feeling their thoughts and opinions are unimportant.

Finally, honor your child’s individuality; respect the fact that they are their own person. Allow them to develop into who they are created to be, not a carbon copy of who we are. A parent’s role is to encourage and support them in determining the best solution for them, not to control them.

The principles of the law of attraction state that what you put out will come back to you. Applying this to communicating with your children, tells us that when you value and respect your children’s thoughts, ideas and opinions, they will value and respect yours.

Respect leads to trust and trust is the foundation of any successful relationship.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Building a relationship with your children, Communicating with your children, Law of Attraction Parenting Method, Parenting, Parenting using the Law of Attraction, Uncategorized, law of attraction | 2 Comments »

Parents! Mission Possible for 2010…

January 23rd, 2010

dh-ygtl-logo-43

“This is your assignment should you choose to accept it” was my favorite moment each week in the television show “Mission Impossible”.  I secretly hoped just one time the response would be “No thanks!”  Of course I never gave much thought to the fact that a refusal would end the show…in my defense I was very young!

We have just entered a brand new year…in with the new and out with the old. Millions of people will recite the same old resolutions. Better health habits, saving more money, or breaking a long time habit.

This year while many are contemplating what they will resolve I would like to encourage all parents to accept the following mission:

Make 2010 the year to honor your children by consciously cultivating your relationship with them.  In the midst of our busy and chaotic lives we need to carve out a slice of time to devote to relating to our children.

The air waves are saturated with sales pitches that promise with only “20 minutes a day” you can create the fit body you have always wanted or “you are 15 minutes away”  from achieving your dreams.  Millions of people, without hesitation, are eagerly ready to sign up or log on to take advantage of these offers because it is something that matters to them AND because it sounds do-able.

Ten minutes, fifteen minutes? Who can’t find that in their day to devote to something that will bring results to an area of importance in their life?

But when it comes to time with our children, parents most often recite the same reason…just not enough time in the day! The reason is because parents believe the quality of the time is in direct relation to the quantity. Of course the more time the better, however, a sincere genuine exchange of thought can be accomplished in a very short time.

Parents too often sell their children short by not recognizing  the fact that their children are aware of the struggles their parents face each day to accomplish all that is necessary to provide for them.   The other mistake parents make is to attempt to shield their children from the realities of what they face on a daily basis. Including your children, letting them know that you are stressed, tired, or simply needing a bit of down time at the end of your day can itself serve to be a time of relating.

The goal for parents is to bring your children into your world in a way that has a sense of “sharing” rather than a sense of “informing”. The difference can be accomplished in two ways. The first is your attitude when you state how your feeling and the other is your tone when you speak to your children.

For example, lets say you are rushing in the morning to get out the door for a business appointment and you are waiting for your son to finish his breakfast because you need to drop him off at school on your way to work.

Once scenario goes something like this:

In an impatient anxious voice you command your son to hurry and finish eating because YOU have to be on time. Once in the car and on your way you are tense because you fear being late and the morning had not gone as you had hoped. There is no “relating” only “informing”. There is a sense of you against him.

The second goes more like this:

Take a few seconds to explain in real terms your dilemma, “I have a really important appointment and I really need your help to be sure I am not late. Do you think you could help me by eating and dressing as quickly as you can? Thanks for being willing to help me.

The difference between the first scenario and the second is that you have included your son in what is happening in your life. You have asked him to be on your team to work with you to help you succeed.

You have respected and honored your child as his own person with choices to make.

Talking with your children,  rather than at them establishes a bond that says you are together on the same team, willing to help and support each other.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Building a relationship with your children, Parenting, Parenting using the Law of Attraction, Power of positive mindset | 2 Comments »

Testing the Lesson

December 19th, 2009

dh-ygtl-logo-41

For many years the focus of my life has been my own personal growth. I believe I have achieved a moderate amount of success. However, like many others in today’s economy, finances have been a source of concern. I fully believe in the principles of the law of attraction and consciously live by them. I know that my mindset is critical to my situation regardless of what the news reports say is happening in the world around me.

Our family business is in construction and although this is reported to be the industry that is suffering the most, my husband and I have continued to believe that we would be fine and I am pleased to say that we have been blessed with  a full schedule of work with only minor slow periods. We have been openly grateful for this as we have witnessed many long time construction businesses close their doors in recent months. We truly believe our good fortune is a direct result of our believing that we would in fact get work and be okay.

That being said, a couple of  weeks ago I found myself in a situation that was the test of all tests. We had completed a project and were awaiting payment. This payment was substantial. We had used a great deal of our resources to operate (supply materials, payroll, general overhead etc) and so Christmas shopping was on hold until we received this payment.

Typically, I am one of those people who has their Christmas shopping completed by Thanksgiving. The fact that it was a week into December and I hadn’t done a thing was new to me…(we have an 11 & 12 yr old). Of course the topic of conversation focused on what was on their wish lists. And as they talked amongst themselves about what they hoped to get for Christmas my heart would skip a beat or two as I began to wonder if I would be able to locate the items on their lists at such a late date. But I would simply focus on what I did want and continue to believe that all would be well.

As they days went by and we didn’t receive the payment, I began to struggle to keep the negative “what ifs” out of my mind. I would catch myself thinking “How are we going to provide a Christmas to our kids with little money?” or “I had better come up with a plan B in case the money doesn’t come through in time”. Each day, as I struggled to maintain a positive mindset, I felt as though I was losing the battle.

I voiced my concerns to my husband and he reassured me that everything would work out…this to both of our surprise made it worse! In response to his positive and supportive attitude, I found myself feeling more upset! I couldn’t believe he was being so calm…after all Christmas was now only a week and a half away!

And then it really hit me, I wasn’t breathing. Not that I couldn’t breathe, but I realized that I wasn’t breathing normally. I was breathing a very shallow breath. I was functioning just fine, it wasn’t interfering with my abilities, I just recognized that I was so tense that my breathing was minimal at best. I felt panicked.

I called my husband and when he answered he said, ” I just got the check and it is in the bank”! Wow, what a relief. After two days of barely breathing, it returned to normal in less than a minute. I was grateful and immediately went into prayer to thank God. Next, I grabbed my purse and my list and headed to the stores.

During the drive, I realized that had I only trusted and believed I could have saved myself so much anguish. I wondered why I hadn’t. I consider myself an awakened soul…I am extremely educated in the field of positive thinking. My career is based on teaching others the value of understanding the power of their thoughts and to then let go and trust and yet I had just failed to practice what I preach.

Prior to this experience I had successfully maintained a positive attitude and seen the rewards of receiving miracles and blessings in our business…but somehow the lesson, this time, was lost. I entered into prayer again and thanked God for the test. Even though I failed, it showed me I had more work to do, and for that I was grateful.

Without completely understanding all of what had transpired, as I reached the parking lot of the local mall, I told myself that I would trust that I would find everything I had written on my list…everything I had intended to get for the children and all would be well. I then chose to let it go. I remember reciting “ho’oponopono” as I entered the store. “I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you”.

By the end of the day my list was complete. I had not only found everything I had hoped to find, several items were marked down!

Being tested on the lesson of trusting reminded me that life is ever evolving and because of this we will always be faced with new situations to experience and that these are the times we will need to “pull up” what we have learned the most…and apply it!

Happy Holidays!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Power of Positive thoughts, Power of positive mindset, Power of positive thinking, law of attraction | 2 Comments »

The Missing Secret of Parenting

December 13th, 2009

dh-ygtl-logo-4

Parenting guides, parenting classes, and parenting coaches continue to flood the market at an amazing rate as a result of the time tested theory of supply and demand. There is a huge demand so the supply becomes greater and greater.  For the most part they all have something of value to offer. Some offer methods while others focus on a specific area to address.

The authors and instructors that provide information to parents base their views and advice on their education, experiences, and ideas. They use all the information they have gathered from these areas and form an opinion. Based on their opinion they devise helpful tools for parents to use in raising their children.

Here’s the problem. This information is as varied as the unique personalities of our children. The information is based on the personality, interpretations, and opinions  of the author, instructor or coach and then must be matched to the personality and circumstances of the child to be successful.

Because of this, many parents find themselves in bookstores and on the internet playing detective to research and find what feels right for them and their children. Generally, it comes down to “trial and error”.  If life stood still to give parents the time to zero in on the method that is helpful to them this would be acceptable. However, as we all know, it doesn’t. As human beings we are constantly changing. Children develop knew skills and abilities everyday during their developmental years. The type of help needed by the parent will be changing as rapidly as the child himself which compounds the problem.

Here’s the solution. The missing secret to parenting is not based on a professional’s opinion or an expert’s theory, it is based on Universal Law…the law of attraction. It is a law. Its principles apply to every human being, regardless of age or personality. It encompasses every area of life. It addresses all aspects of our existence.

Teaching children how to implement these principles in their lives guarantees their success in whatever they choose. Does it sound too good to be true? Ask any one of the millions and millions of adults who became aware of the law of attraction through Rhonda Byrne’s work in the movie “The Secret” or Dr. Joe Vitale’s work in “The Missing Secret”. You will find countless testimonies of these “miracles” happening everyday to people in all walks of life. There is no question as to whether it works, like the law of gravity it is working all of the time without our consent or knowledge.

The key is to be aware of its existence and use that awareness to make it work for you in a positive way to bring you the life you desire.  Parents have the opportunity to use these principles in their parenting methods. They have the opportunity to take it a step further and teach these principles to their children…to raise their children to have an understanding of the power of their thoughts, their power to choose, and the power to be all they were created to be.

Applying the principles of the law of attraction is actually far more than a parenting method or set of skills to elicit certain behavioral responses in your children. It is a way of life. It is a mindset. It is a process that enables each of us, adult or child, to approach life and all of its challenges with courage, confidence and a deep belief in ourselves.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Law of Attraction Parenting Method, Parenting, Parenting using the Law of Attraction, children's future, law of attraction | No Comments »

Gratitude is an Attitude of the Heart

November 25th, 2009

dh-ygtl-logofina1-4

The holiday season is here and most of us are planning and preparing to make our family gatherings a time of joy and celebration. From meals to gift giving, once November 1st arrives, the rush is on and anticipation builds. For some, it can be a stressful time, for others it is their most favorite time of year. Most years, I find myself feeling a bit of both. When I feel the stress beginning to take hold, I am always brought back to my childhood and the lesson my parents instilled in us about being grateful.

I was raised in Boston when John F. Kennedy was a Senator and became president. Although I was only a child, living in Massachusetts during that era affected my life a great deal. For many people living in Massachusetts, the Kennedys were viewed as our own personal royalty. I remember one Christmas when I was fairly young my parents explained that we were going to follow the Kennedy’s lead and begin a new tradition for Christmas!

Wow! I thought this is going to be the best Christmas ever. I was close in age to Caroline and John Jr. and would see them on the evening news riding their ponies and playing at the beach and thought they were the luckiest children on earth. We had been by the Kennedy Compound in Hyannis Port on Cape Cod many times and seen first hand the palatial home they lived in.

So when my parents said we were going to do something like the Kennedys…well, I thought the sky is the limit! Horses, boats, toys galore…! And then my father began to explain that although the Kennedys were very wealthy, they believed that because of their many blessings, they were required to give much to others. My father explained the many good deeds the Kennedys did for people all over the world.

I remember feeling confused. I wasn’t hearing much about when I was going to pick out my very own horse…nothing said so far related to us getting a boat…my father hadn’t even uttered the word “toys”. And then my father explained that although we were not wealthy like the Kennedys, we should be very grateful for what we were blessed with.

He went on to share that no matter how many people you can look at who have more than you, you can also look in the other direction and see how many have less than you.

My mother told us that to help us understand how fortunate we were she had made arrangements for us to go into the city and visit a place where children without families lived. She told us about a “home” called “Home for Little Wanderers”. It was an orphanage.

I couldn’t really understand how that could be…how could there be children without a family? If they didn’t have a mom, who cooked their dinner and made them lunch? If they didn’t have a dad, who tucked them in at night?

My parents explained the many different possible reasons children may not have parents to take care of them. I remember crying when my father said that because they didn’t have parents the children in the orphanage would receive very little for Christmas.

He suggested we go to our rooms and find at least two toys each that were in very good shape that we would like to wrap and bring to the children in the orphanage for Christmas. We all raced to our rooms to pick out just the right toys to give away. I recall while I was in my room searching, thinking that no matter how great the presents we found to give the children would be, they still wouldn’t have a mom or dad.

The next weekend we traveled into the city to the orphanage. It wasn’t a home. It looked like the big brick factory buildings you would see along the way into town. There wasn’t a yard to play in that I could see. The huge front door was right off the sidewalk, like the doors into stores or office buildings.

We went to the door with bags and bags of beautifully wrapped presents, all with handmade cards attached that my sister and I had painstakingly crafted. An older lady answered the door and led us into a large room with only a few sofas and chairs. I was right; it didn’t feel like a home either.

She was very nice and offered us all hot chocolate. She told us how grateful she was to us and people like us who would take the time to remember those “less fortunate.” She took the gifts we brought and put them with the other donated gifts to be handed out on Christmas morning.

We got to meet some of the children and play for awhile. We played a board game and one of the older children read us a Christmas story. They seemed normal to me. You couldn’t tell by looking at them that they didn’t have any parents. We stayed for several hours and then headed home.

The ride home was quiet, which was unusual for my family. My sister finally broke the silence and said “They didn’t look like they didn’t have parents.” I added, “They didn’t look any different than we do!”

And that’s when I got the lesson that has stayed with me throughout my life…

My father said, “Exactly! and they’re NOT any different than you are…except you have been blessed with parents and a real home.” He went on to say, “No matter how much you think you don’t have compared to some, you will always have a great deal more than others. Be grateful for what you do have.”

The ride became quiet again.

The impact of that experience taught us not to compare what we had to what others had and be envious, rather to place our thoughts on the fact that we were blessed with a great deal more than many. We learned that you didn’t need to be wealthy to be able to help other people and that everyone can find something they can do to help someone else. My father shared his belief that everyone should look at their lives as a blessing and share what they do have however they can.

He said that being grateful was more than saying “thank you”. He said it was something that happens in your heart when you learn what is truly valuable in life and added, “When you are grateful from your heart for what you already have, your life will become better and better.”

We continued our annual visits to the orphanage for many years until we moved away.

I think of the life changing lesson my sisters and I learned through that experience. I am grateful for the wisdom and insight of my parents to teach us the principles of the law of attraction long before they had a label and were a household term.

When my thoughts revisit the trips to the orphanage, my heart is refueled with a feeling of gratitude for all I have been blessed with. It was a lesson in gratitude…a lesson that taught us to not just “be” grateful in our minds but how to “feel” grateful in our hearts.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Gratitude and the law of attraction, Law of Attraction Parenting Method, Lesson for children in gratitude, Parenting, Parenting using the Law of Attraction, children's future, law of attraction | No Comments »

Poor Choices Do Not Define the Child

November 7th, 2009

dh-ygtl-logo-41

One of the most important things I learned growing up was that nothing I did or didn’t do made me a “bad” person. I was a fairly sensitive, “goody-two-shoes” kind of child. When I did something I knew was not right, I suffered inwardly even if I wasn’t caught.

When I was five years old my family lived on an army base. An older girl (maybe ten or twelve) lived in the apartment next to ours. My mother trusted her to take me out to play if we stayed in the yard or playground connected to our apartment building. She took me under her wing and led me into mischief that I was uncomfortable with. Often we would leave and go into a nearby wooded area, which was off limits to me. Once she had me smoke a cigarette. I knew instinctively that what we were doing was wrong but couldn’t stand up to her and say no.

Another time was when we took a little girl, younger than I (so probably about three), and put her in a shallow pond in the park in the middle of our apartment complex and pulled her pants down. I felt terribly guilty when we were doing it, but when her mother caught us and shouted, “What are you doing with my child?” I was mortified. I was so ashamed when she took me home and told my mother about it. I knew what I had done was wrong and that I was bad.

After the three year old girl and her mother left, my mother picked me up, held me on her lap and rocked me. Then she said, “Why don’t you tell me what happened.” She listened without speaking while I poured my heart out. I told her everything. Between sobs, I kept repeating, “Mommy, I’m sorry I’m a bad girl.” She just kept holding me and rocking me back and forth.

When I calmed down she looked me in the eye and said, “Benni, you are not a bad girl. What you did was wrong, but that does not make you a bad girl. You are, in fact, a very good girl. You knew it was wrong, and you told me the truth. That is important.” Then she asked me what I had learned. We talked about learning to stand up for myself and choosing to do what I know is right. She went on to tell me about some of the poor choices she had made. That was the most comforting thing of all.

Then she said, “One thing I want you to always remember…you will make mistakes and sometimes poor choices, but that will never make you a bad girl. You will know from the feeling inside you whether it is right or wrong, and you will learn. You are and always will be a good girl with a loving heart.”

That is the message I got, spoken or unspoken, from both of my parents, while I was growing up. Because of that I was never afraid to tell them anything. I knew that there would sometimes be consequences that I wouldn’t like as a result of my telling them the truth, but that I would never be judged.

Sometimes in my teens I told them more than they wanted to know. Even then, the response was always the same. The message, “You are a good person. Nothing you do or don’t do can ever change that”, became a part of my belief about myself.

It carried over to my belief about other people and about the world in general. It affected my parenting, my other relationships, how I respond to people who come to me for counseling, and what I teach in my workshops.

When my youngest daughter, Kim, was three years old, she stole a candy bar while we were grocery shopping. My husband, Ford, had dinner ready for us when we got home, and the family sat down to eat. When Kim finished eating, she excused herself, but before she left the table she said, “I haven’t got anything in my pocket.”

Ford and I exchanged puzzled glances as we watched Kim take the back hall route to her bedroom, out of our line of vision. I decided to see what she was up to. When I walked into her bedroom she was eating her stolen goods…a Snickers candy bar.

When she saw me, big alligator tears rolled down her sweet little face. She said, over and over again, “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry, Mommy”.

I picked her up, put her on my lap, and rocked her back and forth. I told her I knew how much she had wanted the candy bar, but taking it without paying for it was wrong. She kept shaking her head in agreement as the tears continued to flow.

Then I shared with her a time when I had stolen something, and how my mother had handled it. It wasn’t until I started sharing my experience that I realized I was telling her the same thing my mother had told me: “What you did was wrong. We need to make it right. Taking the candy bar does not make you a bad girl. You can learn from it and make better choices in the future.”

She had a look of panic in her eyes when I told her that she needed to take what was left of the candy back to the store, tell them what she had done, and pay for the candy bar. She cried and said, “Mommy, please don’t make me do that! I don’t want to do that!” I told her we would go with her.

When we got to the grocery store she didn’t want us to go in with her. She wanted her five-year-old brother, Jason, to go with her instead. We agreed. We did, however, peek through the glass storefront. We saw Kim. She had one hand over her eyes and the other holding out the half eaten candy bar and money to the checkout attendant while Jason did the talking. It’s a memory we laugh about today.

Parenting is an exciting and worthwhile challenge. Not always easy. You won’t do it perfectly. You will make mistakes. When you do, it is important to forgive yourself…to say to yourself, “Just because I didn’t handle that the way I wish I had doesn’t make me a bad parent. I can learn from that and choose to handle it differently next time. I can go to my child, whether the incident happened today or years ago, and tell them I’m sorry. I wish I had handled the situation differently. I want you to know I love you.” That is the legacy we want to pass on to our children. It is never too late.

For more parenting information and insights by Benni Heacock go to:

http://www.InnovativeParentingLLC.com

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Parenting | 1 Comment »

A Successful Parent

October 10th, 2009

dh-ygtl-logo-4

How do you define a successful parent? What is the criteria and WHO sets the standards?

For the most part,  parents raise their children the same way their parents raised them.  How often,  in the midst of confrontation, conflict, or just plain conversation with your child,  have you been surprised when suddenly you hear your mother’s words coming from your mouth!

The surprise is like a double edged sword.  On the one hand, you vowed that YOU would NEVER treat your children the way your mother treated you! But on the other hand, your words…your mother’s words… now seem to make perfect sense! It’s truly baffling!

Only then, do you put serious thought into parenting….how you were parented and how you are parenting.

The average household operates within the same boundaries and under the same guidelines that were set in motion by those that came before them…parents, grandparents etc.

My parent’s generation, for the most part, put little or no thought into how they parented. “What was good enough for me is good enough for my children”! The only real outside resource available for my parents’ generation was Dr. Spock…and I can remember hearing my mother adamantly disagreeing with a lot of his theories. Why? Because they conflicted with how she had been raised.

When my daughter arrived, new parenting ideas were beginning to surface and seep into society.

I remember the horror on my mother’s face when I told her that Cally (my daughter) was not going to have anything solid to eat until she was six months old! Cally was only going to receive formula until then!

Of course, my mother’s generation had rushed to load us up with cereal as quickly as we would accept it.

I explained to my mother,  just as the pediatrician had explained it to me…the only reason to give babies solid foods was to get them to sleep through the night.  It served absolutely no nutritional value at all.  It was just to fill them up and make them sleepy….and if they were already sleeping through the night, why would you give them something that would  not provide any nutritional value and might possibly add to the risk factor of becoming overweight in later years.

My mother respected my choice.

I would like to note that the emotional style of parenting my mother received, and subsequently passed down to me and then to my daughter was (fortunately for me) instinctively a freestyle approach that emphasized the freedom to speak your thoughts and the freedom to explore and celebrate your uniqueness,  all within the framework of a positive thinking mindset without the current labels of  law of attraction being attached .

Although there isn’t a clear definition for being a successful parent, I believe to be a successful parent, one needs to keep an open mind and be open to new ideas and concepts, evaluate their merits, and then choose to do what you believe will serve your child best.

A successful parent is one who puts thought into what and how they are raising their children rather than blindly continuing a preset path determined solely by what was.

A successful parent will understand that their role is to inspire and support their children in becoming who they are meant to be rather than continue the cycle of parenting that was passed down to them through the generations without thought, thereby creating carbon copies of others.

The universal law of attraction has taken center stage in many peoples lives. People are finding the value of applying these principles. The benefits are being equalled to miracles.

Innovative Parenting LLC offers a 21st century parenting method based on the principles of the law of attraction. This parenting method, offered in eBook form, provides parents with an alternative way to raise your children that promotes confidence, courage, independence, high self-esteem, a strong sense of self, and a love of self and the world around them.

With an open mind, take a minute and take a look, think about what you want for your child’s future…and then decide what you need to do to be a successful parent for your child.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Law of Attraction Parenting Method, Parenting using the Law of Attraction, children's future, law of attraction | No Comments »

The Art of Imagining….Full Circle

September 20th, 2009

dh-ygtl-logo-41

“Imagination is a very high sort of seeing”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I came across this quote on facebook last week.  As I read it, the thought occurred to me that society has experienced a shift in its attitude toward the innate characteristic of children to indulge in their imaginations.

Because my work focuses on bringing the principles of the law of attraction to children at an early age, I felt compelled to write an in-depth article about the value of the art of imagining. Why? Because children are the experts in the field of imagining!

Adults who are applying the principles of the law of attraction are finding themselves needing to revive the skill of imagining. The law of attraction tells us that there are no limits to what we can do, be,  or achieve….we are to dream big, think outside the box, let our imaginations take us to whatever we want in life.

We know that in order to manifest our intention it is necessary to “imagine”  the feelings of already having our intention…it is important to attach the “feelings” of  what it would be like to have or be whatever we desire to the thought of what we intend.

I believe this is where many adults find themselves facing blocks and limiting beliefs while attempting to manifest their heart’s desire. We find it difficult to “imagine” having or being that over the top intention that we dream of.

Why is it so difficult?

At some point, in every child’s life, they are sent the message that they must “get serious” about the direction of their life. This is most often tempered with a dose of other peoples “reality.”

We know that as children we believe we can do anything, we imagine that we are capable of anything. Ask any child under five what they want to be when the grow up and they will give 4 or 5 answers without hesitation. They see no limits to what their life can be like.

They believe in these endless possibilities until outside influences convince them that there are limits to what can and probably will happen in their life.

The lesson for parents is to encourage your children to use their imaginations rather than discourage it in an attempt to protect them from possible disappointments.

Encourage them to “dream big” and be ready to nurture their belief  that anything is possible in their lives. Share their enthusiasm for their future and support their interests…..you never know what might become their life passion.

If you would like to read my in-depth article “According to the Law of Attraction…Imagination is In Style” go to http://www.InnovativeParentingLLC.com and click on the “articles” page under site information.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Law of Attraction Parenting Method, Manifesting your Intention, Parenting using the Law of Attraction, Uncategorized, children's future, law of attraction | No Comments »

« Older Entries